by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
When I was growing up in Illinois in the 'fifties, there
was a well-known phrase, that the only two certainties
in life were death and taxes. Well, we hear plenty about
taxes... but precious little about death, much less making
a "good death." With this article I aim to rectify the
imbalance a bit and get you thinking about how to
prepare for death, the last great journey of your life.
Some people will find this subject distasteful, even
gruesome and appalling. But that's a decidedly
provincial and short-sighted view. The plain fact
is, we must all die... so the question is not whether
your demise is going to happen or not; rather, it's whether
you have prepared yourself and others for the
event... and whether you have arranged matters
with efficiency, convenience, and style, always
remembering that you get one chance and
one chance only to arrange matters properly;
that it must be done right.
1) Your last will and testament
Millions of people who should have a will, don't.
They offer any number of "reasons" for putting off
until tomorrow that which they should be doing today...
but the plain fact is, planning to give up all that
is near, dear, and familiar unnerves them. I know.
Like so many, I procrastinated about drawing
up a will, only to discover when at last I could
procrastinate no longer that the process was
fascinating, enthralling and liberating. It was
good to know that questions of property and
dispersal were handled and that, at the end, I
could concentrate on other things rather than
the last will and testament I had put off too
long.
2) Allow ample time for necessary will
preparation and creation
Naively, I thought that preparing a will
would be a matter of a few weeks, a month
or two at most. In fact (due partly it is true to
a dilatory lawyer) it took nearly 15 months to
gather all the necessary information, schedule
and have conferences, consider the disposition
of every cent of money and item of furniture;
in short, it was a much more time consuming
(and expensive) event than I ever imagined. Prepare
accordingly.
3) Decide where and how you wish to be
buried.
The question you must answer is whether you
wish to be cremated or whether you wish your
mortal remains to be buried. I found this a
particularly difficult question. It happened that
I had seen a film on the actual process of
cremation, and didn't at all like what I saw.
On the other hand, I didn't relish being planted
in the cold, unyielding ground of New England
for eternity either.
My best friend, a scientist able to look the
matter in the eye with sterner clarity and
resolution than I was, told me in no uncertain
terms that I was over analyzing the situation,
that cremation was the only intelligent and
ecologically friendly course of action. I
selected cremation... but without the bell-ringing
conviction and certainty of my friend.
4) Habeas corpus. Now what can you do
with it?
You must make, in a moment of clarity, the
decision not just what must be done with your
remains in terms of burial or cremation... but
whether these remains can be used for the
benefit of others. Do you want portions of
your body, still usable, to go to others... or
do you wish to stay intact, inviolable?
Personally, I had no trouble with this issue;
it made eminent good sense to allow others
to benefit from whatever was sufficiently
useful.. and which I would be unable to use.
Noblesse oblige. And so the proper authorities
have my express desire and my permission
to use me however they see fit.
5) No heroic measures
Do you want to exhaust all efforts to stay
alive, even if "living" means that you can do nothing
more than breathe and exist? To me, such a
"life" can be purchased at far too great a cost,
with resources best used for others. To be
"alive" but unable to "live" seems to me a very
poor use of resources, and a situation that causes
maximum expense and maximum trouble for
others, rather than the serenity and peace we
seek.
6) Write the necessary letters
Before you die there are things to do, important
things which cannot be put off. Amongst these
tasks is the writing of certain letters, letters
to spouse, to children, to dear and valued
friends, and, yes, letters to those you may
have offended... or who need some clear,
final statement from you about some misunderstood
deed or hurtful action.
These letters must be hand written... and
must render sentiments of importance and
total honesty. You owe it to yourself and
recipient to write from the heart, especially
if what you write is painful, difficult, and
unexpected. Work hard on these letters,
for what you write will be read, reread, and
considered often by the recipients. Plan on it.
7) Arrange a final chat whenever possible
Hearing that his lifelong love Madame de
Laval was dying, the Prince de Talleyrand,
the celebrated French 19th century statesman,
hurried to her side. There, they remembered
their youth and its pleasures, tears freely
flowing. But this was not how either of them
wished the matter to end.
Madame de Laval asked for a few moments
to compose herself... the Prince de Talleyrand
removed himself... and, too, pulled himself
together.
Madame de Laval called him in, offered the
full hospitality of her house, and they settled
into a long, intimate, gracious chat, lively
and fulfilling of the kind they had enjoyed for
so many years.
The Prince then said his adieux and departed,
only to learn that his chere amie had died a
few hours later, satisfied and comforted...
the way eternal partings from your dearly
beloved should be. As the end approaches,
spend it thus... for parting, as Shakespeare
knew, is such sweet sorrow.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of
Worldprofit, Inc., www.worldprofit.com where
small and home-based businesses learn how to
profit online through automation. Attend Dr. Lant's
live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed
visitors to the website of your choice! For details
on Dr. Lant's 18 best-selling business books,
go to www.jeffreylant.com
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